Down In One Golf Society

PRIAPIC 2005

On a hot June afternoon six members of the society and two guests gathered at Tyrrells Wood golf club to compete in the PRIAPIC competition. Despite the tough conditions Rob managed to win the day with 35 points narrowly beating one of the guests, Brian Wright, who scored 34 points.

As is now traditional, the competition was followed by a meal in South Eastern HQ. On this occasion we had one of the “cheapest PRIAPIC meals yet” as it turned out to be a £6.50 steak night.

So it was on a fine Saturday afternoon that the seven players met up at Royal Cromer golf club to decide the winner of the Secretary’s Cup and to do battle for a place in the second round for the President’s Putter. Remarkably everyone seemed to cope with playing both match play and stableford formats simultaneously. In the end Richard won the cup with 35 points and Hugh, Andrzej and Richard made it through to the second round.

That evening’s meal in the White Horse turned out to be something of a disappointment. The service was poor the mussels were almost cold and the bread was mouldy. However we were given a free bottle of red wine after complaining to the manager.

On Sunday afternoon we met up again at Sheringham golf club to compete for the Treasurer’s Trophy and for the second round matches of Andrzej v Rob and Richard v Hugh. Andrzej and Richard both scored 30 points but on countback Richard was awarded the trophy. Andrzej and Richard were also the winners of their respective matches.

We returned to the Kings Arms for our evening meal and in honour of Norfolk’s famous hero, Lord Nelson, the secretary provided every one with an admiral’s hat. The captain, not to be out done, had provided is own outfit complete with red shirt and beard.

The new country member’s award

Did Nelson really have a beard?

After the meal we held our 7th AGM, which turned out to be an uncharacteristically ordered affair. David was elected President and Hugh was elected Vice President (and by default became our newest member). Richard and Rob were re-elected to their posts unopposed. On learning of his fall from grace, the outgoing president uttered the immortal line “I have just three words for you - you will regret it”.

The  New Country Member, who had been unable to join us on this occasion, donated a special prize for the player scoring the least number of stableford points over the first two days play. So Ian, with the grand total of 35 points, received a bottle of whisky for his efforts. Ironically Ian also managed to win the Tous Trois Trophie for the most points scored on all of the par 3s over the first two days.

On Monday we drove to Richmond Park golf club (near Swaffham) for our final day’s golf. As a result of the introduction of the three rounds of match play, this day’s play saw Andrzej and Richard competing for the President’s Putter and the rest of the players competing for the DIOGS Bowl. (the Secretary’s move to have this latter trophy retired having been overruled).

Andrzej triumphed in his match by beating Richard 4&3 and won the President’s Putter for the second year running – a total of four wins to date (Well done your Excellency - Ed).

Hugh and Rob both scored 35 points but on countback Hugh was awarded the DIOGS Bowl, having scored 24 of his points on the back nine.

The presentation ceremonies for the various trophies were held in the clubhouse over cheeseburgers, beer and tea. David produced yet more hats for this occasion, ignoring the club rule stating “Strictly NO caps or hats to be worn in the clubhouse“.

Finally, Andrzej survived Rob’s cooking (underdone sausages), Andrzej and Hugh survived eating wild mushrooms (picked by Hugh), Ian and David survived their water fight and we all survived another glorious golf break.